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| Why We Watch... The Bill Thu 28 September 2006, 2:14pm Posted by David Whitehouse ![]() Now let's not go over the top here. State-enforced, compulsory watching of The Bill - a system whereby all under 18s spend an hour every Thursday under armed guard having their eyes held open by Clockwork Orange-style forceps - probably isn't the key to building a crime-free utopia. But it should be! The Bill, you see, is the single most true-to-life, realistic and downright educational series on British TV, and that includes David Attenborough's wildlife documentaries (which, while great, are only really true to life if you're a chimp, or David Attenborough). Want your children to learn right from wrong, or at least avoid that awkward pubescent bit where shoplifting seems like a good idea? Then stick them in front of The Bill. It should be on the National Curriculum. American cop shows like CSI: Wherever or The Wire might be excellent, but they're far removed from modern everyday British existence. With their organised cartels and hitmen, these shows are about as reflective of our experiences of crime as the episode of The Chuckle Brothers where Paul and Barry get an allotment is of our experience of gardening. In other native efforts meanwhile, like the dire Mersey Beat, it seems like the murders taking place are just inconvenient distractions for the attractive police officers who otherwise would be having loads of sex with each other in the toilets of trendy bars. The Bill mixes business with pleasure too of course; it would hardly succeed if it pretended its officers didn't have a social life after all. But there is nothing of the Hollywood about it. Who can forget DC Jim Carver fishing through the Sun Hill bins for more booze? Or DI Burns's breakdown? Or PC June Ackland snogging Mark Fowler from EastEnders before he turned out to be a mentalist who enjoyed pretending to be her son? In fact, with Corrie fast becoming a slapstick half-hour and EastEnders a morgue, The Bill is closer to us (except maybe for that bit about the incest) than any other series on TV. It certainly influences our impressions of British policing more than anything else, including the actual police. The classic British copper isn't the chiseled superman we're wanted to believe in. It's PC Tony Stamp waddling across the road to help a confused pensioner, or PC Reg Hollis, the only man on TV whose face looks like it could fold into something else entirely, moving a drunk along the street. Kind of makes you want to leave your front door unlocked, doesn't it? Kind of. |
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| most true-to-life, realistic and downright educational series |
| QUOTE (Sarge @ October 24, 2006 06:56 pm) | ||
Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *Deep breath* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha |
| QUOTE (Sarge @ October 24, 2006 06:56 pm) | ||
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